Tuesday, January 26, 2010

defining moments

yesterday i was on my way to pick up the girls from school and i was in a car accident. someone turned in front of me and i hit them, luckily i had the right of way so it is his fault! the only injury i received was the air bag hitting my right wrist so it's in a hard splint until they figure out if it's a fracture or sprain.

this accident prompted a much needed talk for phil and i. i confessed that i have been trying to be ok with not getting engaged and married yet and that really is not ok with me. he said that he knew and understands and reassured me by saying that he has a plan to propose and his parents already know what it is.

i'm in a pretty good mood considering and i know that God will use this for His glory.

Monday, January 25, 2010


I feel like I need to spend some time to myself. I don't often feel that way, but right now that's what I need. I want to take a weekend trip to California by myself just to be with family. I want to still have contact, but have it be minimal while these feelings get sorted out. Sometimes it just feels like too much and right now it feels like I'm losing myself. I need some time to regroup and find myself through all of this.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Love and true appreciation

Have I ever mentioned that I have the most kind, patient, caring, wonderful man on the face of the planet? Well, in case you didn't know I totally do. I'm not sure how I got this lucky, but really it couldn't make me more appreciative or happy if it were even possible.

I woke up this morning to find out that Phil decided to let me use his car for the weekend in case of inclement weather. I'm going to visit a friend in Virginia and he has a four-wheel drive vehicle and I do not. He even transferred over the car seats for me which, subsequently, made him miss his train.

I was supposed to leave today right after work, but got sick right after lunch and was unable to leave. After he worked and came home he ran to the store to get me some sprite and brought me some saltines as well since I can't eat anything at the moment. He made sure to check in with me periodically and told me to call him if I needed anything.

I really do love this man and love to see him happy. He is so incredible and more than I ever thought I deserved. I thank God every. single. day. for him.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

It's a Resume NOT an Online Dating Profile!

What the flip is a resume profile? I've been looking online at some resume samples and all of the websites are telling me to skip the objective and make a profile. This profile is supposed to "sell" you and your accomplishments in 3-4 sentences.  All of the ones I've read look like the job-equivalent of an internet dating profile. I thought I wanted a job, not another boyfriend.

I guess I'm just a little old-school when it comes to this. It's all just a little confusing trying to figure out what to write and Phil's dad sent me a great job listing that the closing date is tomorrow so I must have some kind of decent resume done tonight....goodnight.

I'm sure we'll figure out something, but until then I may or may-not need a hug and a major chocolate fix.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

How it went

The talk with my boss went well last night. Basically, I have until mid-June to continue until my current position ends. This gives me 5 months to look for a new job in a new field. I am excited and nervous to be moving on from being a nanny and onto bigger and better things.

I am wroking on my resume, but experiencing a major road block. It is so easy to do someone else's resume, but when it comes to doing my own I get stuck. I'm basically trying to turn a nanny resume into a hr resume for an entry-level position. I know I can do it, I just need to be able to focus and get it done.

Wish me luck!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Planning the Talk...

Tonight is the big night where I am going to have a talk with my boss about the future of their child care needs. Currently, there are three kids that I nanny for ages 10, 7, and 4. The two older children go to school for a full day and the youngest goes all week to preschool, but only half day. The parents are really trying to get the youngest into Kindergarten next year and knowing that he would be at school all day means that their needs for a nanny will be changing.

I must admit that I am definitely excited and a little nervous about it. Since I now have my degree, there are many opportunities that can be considered that were not options before. It's a little scary, but thrilling at the same time to know that something new is just around the corner!

Basically, I just want to know where I stand with having a job. The worst case scenario is that they will not need me full-time past the end of the school year or right before camp starts. This would work out well if I knew now because that gives me until the end of May/beginning of June before I need to have a new job. The best case scenario is that they want me to work through the summer which means I would need a new job by August. Either way, I am totally ok with both of these options and just want to know what to plan for really.

Hopefully everything goes well tonight and some things are cleared up and positive. I know my boss thinks I'm great and I just want to make sure that everything turns out right.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Work it out!

With my back feeling better I am hoping to be able to start going back to the gym for some "light cardio." I am not supposed to do weights for a while, but am allowed to use the elliptical for some exercise until my back is feeling completely better.

I am thinking of trying to get in at least 4 days of cardio for 30 minutes each day and also doing some yoga and other games on the wii fit + Phil got me for Christmas.

The back pain is still there, but more on the right side at the moment. I simply can not wait to be able to get into shape and really start to feel good about myself. Since there is no time like the present I think it will begin tomorrow morning on my "off time" from the kids.

Wish me luck!

The goal: lose 60 pounds by November 2010.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Weekend Goodness

This weekend was absolutely amazing! God has really blessed us and given us so much to be thankful for. We were able to just hang out and really have a fantastic time yesterday when we went to lunch at Olive Garden followed by a nap and quick dinner before I had to babysit for some friends of my bosses.

Today we went to the early service at church then went home and had lunch. We've been working on eating out less and keeping it down to a minimum so since we had agreed only once this weekend we didn't want to eat out today. After lunch we were able to go to Home Goods, Trader Joes, and Wegmans. I love those stores and it was great to be able to spend the day with Phil just running errands and being together, even if I was exhausted from not getting enough sleep.

It really seems as if there has been a positive turn-around in our relationship and with Phil's happiness. It seems as though God has really given him some comfort and acceptance of things and he's been so incredibly happy since Friday. It's great to see him so happy and he loves it so much which makes me happy.

He's so incredible and I'm thankful for being able to have him in my life!

Friday, January 15, 2010


I guess what I'm expecting right now is nothing short of a miracle. Every time things seem to be going well there is a big bump in the road that shakes him up. He's afraid of change and what is unknown. He's had these expectations in his head for so long and now that life doesn't line up with what he thought it would be he can't seem to accept it.

I pray for him and so does my dad and his parents for God to give him reassurance and peace. It is a struggle that we deal with a lot and he is a good man who just needs to feel God's comfort and peace.

I guess what I expect at this point is not a ring, but for him to put his faith and trust in God and for him to find some relief. What we have is real and true. If the Bible is right when they say that "Love conquers all" then I say we'll be just fine.

Until then, I will continue to love, pray, and have faith that the Lord God Almighty will take this burden from him and give him strength, peace, reassurance, and acceptance. Amen.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Early Valentine's Day Present

There are only a few things that I can wait to give Phil if I know what he wants. I really do try, but eventually one of two things happen...

1. I over analyze the situation and tell him that he's getting it before the actual date, but get it together and make him wait.
2. I'll spill the beans and tell him what he's getting then feel compelled to give it to him early.

On occasion I have been able to hold my tongue and surprise him, but it rarely happens.

Flash-forward to today---
Last night Phil told me what he wanted for Valentine's day this year. Being that he never knows what he wants I was super excited and wanted to get it for him before he buys it for himself. I know him and yes, he will wait, but it will drive me crazy having him over analyze whether or not he wants it and talking himself out of it.

I had done my research on it and decided that yes, indeed, I would get it for him and give it to him on Valentine's day. Great...right? Wrong. He decided to throw into the conversation that he could wait, but that he really didn't want to wait to get it until then. Ugh.

Of course, me being me I just had to go out and get it for him today and yes, he must have it today. Why? Because I seriously would not be able to wait a whole month to give it to him without it driving me crazy.

So, without further adieu here's what I got him...

I seriously can't wait until I see him tonight to be able to give him is new I pod touch. I know it's super early, but there's no way to hide it from him for a whole month. Hopefully he's as excited to get it as I am to have it!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


I'm at a crossroad in my life. I can now put my bachelor's degree as completed on my resume and start to send it out. It has been something that I've been craving for years and now it is finally here and I'm not sure where to start and what to do.

My whole life teaching was my dream, but upon finishing school and working with kids for years it has become less of a dream and more of a nightmare at this point. Working as a nanny for the past four years has me burnt out on childcare and craving something more in the business world.

I want to work in human resource management. There...I said it, but with that being said how do I take a resume filled with years of childcare experience and make it sound business and management like? I definitely have the skills and traits it takes, but how are they going to know that when all I've done was taken care of other people's lives for so long?

More and more I long for a career. I want to get dressed up and go to work at an office each day with co-workers. I want to feel important and feel like I'm getting the respect I deserve. I want to prove myself and be able to show others all of the great things that I can accomplish. But, instead I feel hopeless and unsure of what the next step should be.

I want to stay until the end of the school year with the family I am working for now. They deserve it and it is a great job. The youngest should be going to Kindergarten next year and I'm thinking that I will not be needed anymore which is fine because I need to move on with my life and have my degree.

I'm also at a stand-still with my relationship. We have been dating for a year and a half and although I want to get married in the fall, it seems that he is not ready and it doesn't look like he will be ready then. He is hopeful that he will be, but until I get a ring on my finger I feel better assuming it's not happening just yet.

We have talked about moving closer to his job so that his commute would be shorter and more manageable once we get married and that would place us a good 45 minutes from where we are now. I am unsure of where to even pursue looking for a new job in case that happens this fall or not. Either way I feel stuck.

With every big decision in my life I am constantly reminded from family and friends to make sure that Phil agrees with the decision because when we get married, it will affect him too. I can agree with all of that, but what happens if it doesn't come soon or even at all? I am trusting God that it will happen, but right now I'm having a hard time figuring it all out. What do you do when you are ready to get married, but he is not? How long do you wait and put your hopes and plans into it?

There's a lot I need to think about and figure out, but I'm just not sure right now. I feel a lot of pressure to make things happen, but am unsure what they are and what to do.

Monday, January 11, 2010

2010 Graduate

I am officially a GRADUATE!!! I love 2010 so far and this was a great way to start the year off. I turned in my last paper today and will recieve my diploma next month. My degree is in Social Science with a concentration in Education. I am super excited to have my bachelor's degree and cannot wait for the new opportunities that await me this year!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Welcome 2010!

I've been a little disgruntled because my layout is all messed up and I can't figure out how to make it normal again. Oh well, it will all work out sooner or later!

I must admit that I am welcoming 2010 with wide open arms! This year should be fantastic and bring lots of positive changes in my life. For starters this is my last week of school and I will have my bachelor's degree completed!!! Also, Phil and I have talked about getting engaged...possibly married this year so hopefully that will all work out too. The first is more likely to happen, but I have strong hopes for getting married this year too. There's just something about 2010 that seems perfect for a fall wedding...don't you think? Of course, with the degree I will be looking for a new position and to get out of being a nanny. It was nice while it lasted, but I'm craving something different. I'm hoping for human resources, but you never know what God has up his sleeve.

Since Phil has been talking marriage and engagement lately we've also talked about moving just a little closer to his job. Right now he is making a 2 hour commute each way to go to work and we are hoping to shorten that by a little while. I was looking up apartments in the area we are looking to move and I must admit that for our budget we could get something very nice especially compared to my tiny apartment now. This makes me extremely happy.

Over the break we were able to get a lot done. I had a lot of time off and Phil had two four-day weekends in a row! My back has been killing me and upon thinking of options we settled on buying a new mattress. It was a big purchase and step for us because even though it will be at my apartment right now, we will both be using it after we get married so we had to find something we both liked. Luckily, we agreed on everything and will now have a new mattress delivered this Saturday. I can't wait!

I am truly thankful for all of blessings that God has given us and I am looking forward to the new blessings for the upcoming year!