Monday, May 31, 2010

McFatty Monday (Memorial Day)

First off on this Memorial Day, I want to take a second to thank everyone who has served in our Armed Forces. Your dedication and selflessness has given us freedom and for that I am so thankful to you all.

Since it is Monday, it's time to write about how well or not so well my weight loss efforts were this past week. With that said, here's the recap:
  • Total workouts: 4! I saw my trainer on Monday (and she kicked my butt!), did half of a Zumba class then walking with Phil on Tuesday, walked for an hour on the treadmill Thursday, and Saturday walked 45 minutes on the treadmill at a little faster pace than Thursday!
  • Eating-Wise: I did pretty well! I downloaded the app for Phil's IPod Touch that tracks my calories, fat, and carbs and found it incredibly helpful. There were many opportunities this weekend to get side-tracked, but I managed to stay on track almost the whole weekend (except for last night with pizza, but I made sure to limit myself).
  • Water Intake: This week has been consistently good with water intake. I've been bringing a refillable water bottle with me and drinking mostly water for everything.
I feel good about this week and hope to continue next week at the same pace. Unfortunately I'm not home right now (or else I couldn't be writing this post as I have no internet) so the weigh-in will have to wait until another day. I am picky about which scale I use to weigh myself because all of the scales seem to have a different reading and fluctuate so if I stick with my scale, then I know it is consistent.

How have y'all been doing this past weekend with your "Get Fit/Lose Weight" endeavors?

Friday, May 28, 2010


I can not express how exciting I am for this three day weekend! A whole weekend of hanging out with my best friend/boyfriend and getting to see friends that we haven't seen in a while. The week days are hectic so it's nice to have this time to spend with each other and catch up on everything.

Have a great Memorial Day Weekend!!!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Sabotage--Diet Addition

Have you ever been trying to lose weight and realized that you are sabotaging yourself? I find that this happens to me and I don't even realize it. Of course, I put in a good effort with working out and being more active so that should help make the weight come off, right? I've also made huge dietary changes and cut out most fast food, soda, and large amounts of sweets that were consumed on a daily basis. I thought that for sure, these changes would help me lose some weight, but it has yet to come off and I've figured out why.

Sure, my food intake has been better with smaller portions and not eating as many "bad" foods, but what was happening was that there were many foods that seem to be "healthy" and really are not. Take yesterday for example: I went to Chick-fil-a thinking that it would be better to get something there than at McDonald's or somewhere else. I had a sunflower-multigrain bagel with chicken and cheese. It was quite good and had a lot of protein and multigrain is better than white, right? Unfortunately, not. That breakfast sandwich that was thought to be more healthy ended up being 500 calories with 20 grams of fat! Ewww. Well, this got me thinking...If that seemed healthier and really wasn't, what else am I eating that could be sabotaging my weight loss efforts?

For me, this was a real wake-up call. That cookie that looks so good and can't be that bad if I only have one....6 grams of fat and 180 calories. Ummm, no thanks. Because of this (and the wonderful boyfriend that lets me use our his Ipod touch) I decided to download an app that helps me track what I eat and the calories/fat/carb content in foods as well as gives me daily goals and totals to work with. It is also incredibly helpful because if he wants his Ipod back to use, they have a website where you can plug in the information as well and have an online community of other people trying to lose weight! I browsed the website today and loved seeing the ticker and goals that you can set for yourself and also be able to look up what the nutritional facts are! If you too are interested in that website click here.

Now that I have the right tools to know what is in the foods I'm eating it should make it easier to make the better choice and not continue to sabotage myself!

Monday, May 24, 2010

McFatty Monday

Well, it's Monday again and that means it's time to talk about weight loss! The goal for this past week was to go to the gym/work out for 4 days. I did pretty well with 2 days in the gym and 1 day of walking at the nearby park that has an awesome walking path complete with hills and inclines. Saturday my friend and I went to the Nationals game so there was a decent amount of walking including stairs. Yes, I chose to take the stairs on a couple of occasions instead of the escalator.

There wasn't enough time to weigh myself today, but as of a few days ago the weight that was gained on vacation was gone! The major changes haven't been in weight loss, but rather in cardiovascular endurance. At first, working out at the gym was so incredibly hard. The elliptical would kill me within the first 5 minutes of exercise and I would literally leave breathless and crying. Now, working out for 30 minutes on the arch-trainer or elliptical is pretty easy and do-able.

My trainer seems to be impressed with how much we can do now when we work out and has therefore made my workouts MUCH harder than before. This is something that is both good and bad as I totally feel exhausted still from our workout this morning.

The goal for this week is to continue the working out and to make sure that I'm making better choices in my diet. Phil and I have a lot planned this weekend and it will involve eating out a lot so learning to make good decisions when we aren't able to eat at home is very important.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Looking Back

I love looking back on things that I've written. It gives me a sneak peek of what life was like at that point in time. I was reading a survey that was taken right before I moved here in January 2009 and noticed how happy and insightful I was about who I was and how much of myself was truly embraced. It was great to read over it and feel all of the nostalgic feelings of what life was like at that time. This is why I love journaling and blogging--to be able to look back on it later on and to remember and feel those things again. Sometimes I might wonder what on earth I was thinking, but it's still a great memory.

It's hard for me right now because so many things are about to change and there's nothing more I can do about it at the moment. I want to feel confident, happy, and insightful of myself and my future. Some days this task is easier than others, but there are days when I feel like I've lost myself and don't know where to go from here. It's hard to lose a job when you don't have another one lined up. Phil and I have decided to let me work part-time for the family I work for now and to let me focus on getting things in order in the meantime. We have a couple of back-up plans, but right now the best thing for me to do next month when the job ends full-time, is to focus on me and making myself the best person I can be (while continuing to apply and look for full-time employment). I have a wonderfully loving and supportive man, family, and a God who can conquer all things. I am working on not worrying and looking forward to a new opportunity! But, for now, we will take it one day at a time.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Just When I Think I Know Best...

"People will disappoint you, but God will always remain faithful"--this was the message from my devotional last night and it really home for me.

I've been struggling with putting my faith in the wrong place and getting disappointed and upset when it doesn't go how I think it should. I get frustrated because God told me what He has in store and it has yet to come to fruition. I know that it will happen when it's the "right time" and to be completely honest, that is incredibly annoying to hear. I have so much hope and faith that God is in control and it will happen when it is God's time and not mine, but sometimes you need to vent and get what you feel deep down off of your chest.

I can only imagine how Sarah, Abraham's wife, must have felt when she was told that she would have a child and was barren. They were promised a child and it took years for her to finally have one. They even took it into their own hands and had him sleep with Hagar so that they would have the child God had promised to give them.

It feels like I am constantly waiting for what God has for me and there is nothing I can do about it now. Yes, it gets incredibly frustrating and I pray all.the.time. I trust God with this and will continue to have faith and hope in Him, but sometimes it seems too difficult to get through. I know with God, all things are possible and I just need to wait on the Lord for "His promise endures forever."

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Free Dates

My boyfriend and I have been spending a lot of money lately--especially with the California trip. We have decided to cut back for a while just to make sure that we are putting everything in perspective. We tend to do pretty well most of the time mainly because my boyfriend does not like to spend money unless absolutely necessary we want to make sure that we are able to both save and have the things we really need. One of the areas that we can usually agree on is the difference between a want and a need. I must admit that there are times where I might be a little over-dramatic about what I really need, but all he has to do is give me "the look" and I know that it's really just something that I want and put it on my "list" for a later date.

Because we like to save money I've been thinking of some dates that are free (no cover fee) and would only have minimal costs (like gas) to get there.

Here's what I've come up with so far:
1. Hiking- we are going to do this soon. It will be a great way to get some exercise in and we can pack water and a lunch.
2. Gym dates- we both have a pre-paid membership so it won't be an additional cost and we both like to make sure that we're healthy and in shape (mine is waaaay rounder than Phil's, but I'm working on it).
3. Picnics- there's a community pond by us if the weather is good and it's really nice.
4. Movies at home- I like to go to the library and rent movies for free and we can watch it on the weekends.

I'm still thinking of more, but this is what I have for now. Does anyone have any other suggestions?

Monday, May 17, 2010

McFatty Monday

I'm back from California, so it's back to the grind...well, maybe tomorrow. I've been trying to catch up on unpacking everything so the gym is out of the question for today, but I am keeping a close eye on my eating.

The trip was great! We had a lot of fun and ate way too much good food! I managed to gain a little, but that could also be because of the lack of water we drank so I'm not too worried about it. We did a lot of walking around while we were out there so it's not like we were lazy slugs the whole time.

I'm looking forward to going to the gym tomorrow night with my gym buddy for Zumba and getting back to liking the gym and looking forward to it!

This week's goals will be:
1. Go to the gym 4 times
2. Eat better than last week--which, really shouldn't be that difficult

What are your goals for the week?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Vacations always teach me something especially when I visit back home to California. I moved to the East Coast on a whim in July 2007. It may sound crazy, but I knew that is what God was telling me and there was nothing really holding me back so off to Virginia I went.

At first, moving was really hard for me emotionally. I left behind almost all I had ever known in California to live in a state 2,700 miles away from home. It was a quick decision and there wasn't much time to say goodbye to friends and family. I literally found out on Sunday I would be going to Virginia and left on Wednesday. It was difficult not to receive the closure that I longed for.

At the time my friends and family didn't understand why I moved across the country and why it happened so suddenly. I really didn't know then either, but it was God's plan for me so I followed it and moved. It was hard for me not to be able to say bye and be around everything that had become familiar over the past 23 years that I grew up there.

It was good for me and heartbreaking all at the same time. I loved California and all it had to offer, but being across the country was what I needed to thrive. This realization came when I visited my family last year for my birthday. I remember leaving with closure thinking..."Now I get it. Now I understand why this all happened."

I am learning new things on this trip as well and will have to share those thoughts later. One thing is for certain, I know that although I may live far away from my family, I am exactly where I need to be and I have a wonderful man and his family that is there to love and fully support me. That is all that matters.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Deliverance and Freedom

Last night Phil and I went to the last Cleansing Stream study before the retreat in Pittsburgh tomorrow evening. On the way there I was reluctant to go because Satan had really been attacking me lately and I felt "out of place" being there with everyone exclaiming how much God is showing them through the study. God has been showing me a lot as well, but it made me feel that there was nothing changing because my response was not the response of many of the people in the study. I was able to open up and was accepted by the wonderful group of women who reassured me that what I'm going through is perfectly normal and that God is going to do a great thing at the retreat! I left feeling happy and inspired!

I went to bed last night praying deliverance and freedom not just for myself, but for Phil as well. As I was praying I felt God's presence and it was amazing. My mood this morning was fantastic and I could tell that God was working! I found myself praying and praising God for the freedom He has given us! God has already won the spiritual battle and has given us victory over all. We need to be open to receive the freedom that He has for us and the blessings that He has for us in store. Hallelujah!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

On the Positives About my Job

As with any job being a nanny has many good points and some not-so-good points to it. It's hard to think that soon I will be doing something else because that's what I've done for the past 5 years, but although it's hard to think of, it will happen and I am ready for the change! Although I will miss the following "perks" to my current position:
  • Having a split-shift and being able to schedule appointments, go shopping, run errands, and just chill out while the kids are in school.
  • Nap-time--it's the best "break" ever!
  • Knowing that basically as long as the kids are safe and chores are done, I get paid to play and hang out all day.
  • Not having to dress up everyday for work.
  • Having a pretty good commute with minimal traffic and drama.
  • Being able to be out in the sunshine in the middle of the day without neglecting my job.
  • Getting to talk to my friends and family during the day (when appropriate) since most of them are on the West Coast.
  • Getting a gas card every two weeks for my car to help pay for gas.
  • Being paid to take the kids to lunch and having my meals paid for while I'm on the clock.
  • And most of all--being able to pay my bills and get things done while having a good amount of time to myself.
Even though I will miss all of those things, I am so ready for a new challenge and change. I am trusting that God has a job for me in the works and he will bring it about in due time. Until then, I will be at my current position full-time until mid-June and figuring out what is next after that.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Meltdowns and Victories

I swear, every time I try to eat healthier it just backfires on me and I end up feeling like I'm starving all matter what I eat. It sucks, really it does. So, despite my positive efforts yesterday, it happened once again. All day I tried to keep a positive attitude, in fact, the girls yesterday told me, "You're in a good mood today" when I picked them up from school. Unfortunately when the hunger kicks in hard, you can only imagine how long that "good mood" can last. Still, I tried to make the best of it. Until the unexpected happened.

Phil and I went to the store last night to get me a fan for my room. I am trying to be super frugal with my job ending in June and not wanting to spend tons of money on utilities which means no air conditioning. It worked out well last summer and I used a portable air conditioner only when it was too humid in the apartment to get it manageable, then went back to the fan. So, here we are walking down the aisles looking for fans, I am hungry as all get out and the oldest girl I watch gave me a really rough afternoon yesterday. We see the aisle of fans and he goes to the small "personal fans" while I was thinking more of a standing oscillating fan. Now, I'm pretty open-minded since he's paying for it and all and trying to be cool about it, but there are so many freakin' fans that I get completely overwhelmed. I'm hungry, anxious, overwhelmed, and a getting a bit angsty as to why it can't just be easier to pick a fan. So, what do I do? I sat down on the open shelf and try not to cry. Yes, cry. Because apparently that's how I handle things. Luckily, it's not the balling type of crying more like the silent, short, why the heck are tears even coming out, sort of a cry.

Poor Phil. He's standing there not knowing what to do and once we finally get a fan he offers to get me something from McDonalds so that I can stop feeling like crap. Since I'm really trying to eat healthier I decided to forgo the fast food and we went to my apartment to drop off the stuff and so I could eat some dinner only to still be hungry...again. So, once we got back to his house I grabbed a glass of milk and a tub of grapes. I sat there watching tv and on the internet eating grapes until the feeling of starvation went away. Well, by the time that happened the whole tub of grapes was almost gone and when Phil came back from his shower and saw that he busted out laughing!

The best part about it all is that when I stepped on the scale this morning, it said that I've dropped 1.6 pounds! That is the first time the scale has moved down in over two months!!! I'm thinking it was a victory!

Monday, May 3, 2010

mcfatty monday

I'm still maintaining my weight despite multiple efforts over the past couple of months. I've been discouraged and took a step back for a few weeks, but am ready to get back onto the bandwagon. I want to be healthy and not focus on just the weight, but how I feel overall. I've noticed that I feel better when I work out and eat better despite the lack of weight loss and I really like how that feels.

Right now I'm going to focus on avoiding the foods that I crave when I'm stressed. Of course, it doesn't help that when I walked into work this morning there are chocolate cupcakes sitting out waiting to be eaten. So far it's been easy to avoid them. I had a bowl of Special K cereal this morning and have no desire to eat the cupcakes, but that's probably because I'm not super stressed right now so we'll have to see how well this afternoon goes when the kids are running a muck in the house.

It's so easy to run and pick up something through the drive-thru when I find myself hungry. Hunger hits me quickly and once my blood sugar gets too low I need to eat something right-that-second so that the dizziness, shakes, and weakness goes away. It's been easier to make sure that I'm eating plenty of small snacks to curb the starvation problem and often times I will stop by my house for lunch since there aren't many "ready to eat" things at my bosses' house and I can only eat so many PB&J sandwiches...seriously.

The other things I'm gong to focus on is my water intake and regular exercise. I like going to the gym and the feeling of happiness that brings, but it can be difficult to get to the gym. It's a lot easier to go with a friend, but sometimes no one is available to go and I must make the decision to go anyways. I like to think that I'll do a video at home, but usually I end up avoiding the at home workout and just watch a movie instead.

I believe that the weight will come off naturally with living a healthy lifestyle and maybe by focusing on being healthier and more fit and less on the weight itself, it will put me in a better frame of mind and perspective to be able to do more.

Does anyone have any tips for getting past food cravings or getting the right frame of mind for the gym? Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Getting Through

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I don't know what happened, but it was a really hard day. I am so thankful for the man that God has put in my life. Through it all he was supportive, loving, and understanding. He even came and picked me up last night to go to his house so I didn't have to be alone. He is incredibly selfless and really goes out of his way to make me happy. I am feeling better today and hope that continues. No matter what I know that God is good and this too, shall pass.